“Google Now” Can Be Your Best Mobile Geeky Friend

Google Now on PhoneThe most super-intriguing and super-fascinating (if you are a super-geek of course) new epic mobile feature presented yesterday at Google I/O conference was Google Now which suppose to be unleashed to the human wild with the official roll out of Android 4.1 “Jelly Bean” somewhere in mid-July.

Although this Google Now megalomaniac thing (in a good way as much as megalomania can be good) was presented as “Google’s future mobile search experience”, I’m not sure if it deserves this title. No, it isn’t the word “future” that bothers me because it does strikes like the freakin’ FUTURE.

What does bothers me with this definition is the word “search”, because even though search is part of it, Google Now seems to be more than just search. Way more.

From the short presentation the Google web-gods (lord Page and Lord Brin) generously released to the simple folks on the real world, Google Now is basically the closest thing to a friend a smartphone could be. And because y’all just a bunch of super-geeks it might be also the closest thing to a real friend you’ll have.

What this Google Now “acquaintance” (gee, at least buy me dinner first) does is to provide us the right information we need throughout the day (I would have said night also, but we’re all nerds y’know). The best thing about it is that we don’t even need to ask, it does everything automatically.

One of the gods’ ambassadors to earth have stated at the conference that as more as we use Google Now, the more personalized information it can give us. You know, after it learns all our specific little fetishes and small perversions, the usual stuff…

For example, let’s say you’re suppose to catch some flight. Google Now will check its status few hours before automatically and if it has been canceled or delayed it will alert you. But not only that, it is also capable of adding something like “hi, cheer up, I know you are customized going to a strip club at this time of the day, here’s the closest one…” and show it on Google Maps including route and traffic updates.

How fuc*ing cool is that? Now we’ll just have to discuss your strip club habits in mid-day. Perhaps Google Now can reveal some deep mommy-issues…

I’m for once, very excited. Because I’m such a lazy busy and indolent important person I need something that would help me to pass relieve my non-existing extra-loaded schedule. Ah, take that Apple for dumping Maps from iOS 6! Don’t Fu*k with Google you walled garden fanatics!

Of course that eventually Google Now can also turn out to be just another shitty product. In that case, can I be your friend again, Apple?