Darwin Awards For Tablet And Laptop Failures

We are all familiar with the fictitious and tongue in cheek Darwin Awards and nominations that are given to people posthumously for being grossly stupid or inept. However, isn’t it time to extend these nominations and awards to those who don’t have sense enough to use their brains when breaking or destroying their high tech toys like mobiles, tablets, iPads or laptops?

How Laptops Are Broken

Jack Matthews from PcHelpAtHome.co.uk has heard a million different stories with long winded explanations told by people when they admit bashfully how they somehow managed to total their laptop or crack a screen. Most of these mishaps seem to involve one of these three major factors: attitude, accidents or alcohol. I will cover a few of the methods here. However, to help spare the involved parties’ street cred, I will refrain from shaming and naming anyone in particular.

Temper Tantrums

Many of the stories that we hear involve someone having a temper tantrum whilst being online. It certainly isn’t the laptop’s fault if you happen to discover that you are being cheated on by your partner posing as a Pennsylvania schoolgirl. Or how about the girl who was browsing on Facebook and discovered a picture of her boyfriend with her BFF (“best friends forever”) playing some tonsil tennis.

Obviously thinking she had a promising career as a discus athlete ahead of her, she flung her Macbook across the room only to discover that she not only didn’t make the US Olympic team, she also broke the screen on her laptop.

There are too many stories to even keep track of involving throwing things at laptops or screens being punched by individuals who can’t control their feelings.

Only One Thing Can Come From A Doner Kebab or Six Pints of Carling

Once in a while, we all enjoy an evening out on the town with friends. We might even drink a bit too much while we are out enjoying time with our friends. However, when you get home, you probably shouldn’t try to surf the web while under the influence. An Oxford student discovered this when he threw up the remains of the lamb kebab he had eaten earlier in the evening all over the keyboard of his computer. The poor guys stuck with having to repair the computer at the shop amazingly enough weren’t too chuffed about the noxious odors wafting from every port.

Then there are the other bodily fluids coming from the family dog. They may be called man’s best friend, but some of them like to leave their scent behind on your beloved iPad. However, if you are dumb enough to leave it lying on the floor, can you really blame him?

Nominees For Pillocks Of The Year

Our final and most common method that web users employ to ruin their beloved iPads and laptops is through sheer idiocy or accidents. Most people do recognize a table as a table. There are times when we can use it for a footstool. However, we can’t ever use a laptop as one or rest our big feet on it. Most times if we do that, the screen will crack or buckle. The extent of damage that can be one in one sitting is often exponentially linked to how many burgers are eaten during that time.

The Real Dangers Gaming Poses

More and more we have started using our laptops for gaming. We have also seen the number of accidents that involve ear buds or ear phones increase. Screens really don’t respond well at all when they come into rough contact with ear buds. This often happens when the laptop is shut with ear buds sitting on the keyboard. When this happens, the screen might very well crack.

When you combine this method with the “laptop as footstool” technique, you are really out to prove that you aren’t Mensa material. You could even end up totaling your laptop. Even the best laptop repair shops may not be able to reverse the damage that has been inflicted on the poor device. It will probably end up in laptop heaven.

If you are not careful, you could end up with your very own Darwin Award for your efforts.

Sticky Fingers

The most common technique by far to ruin a laptop is actually very simple. It involves being careless when drinking a cup of coffee or tea. Whether you happen to be sitting at home or in Costa Coffee or Starbucks enjoying a nice beverage in front of your laptop, you don’t need to be a genius to realise that electronic circuits and fluids are not a good combination.

If you just end up spilling a small amount of liquid on your keyboard, a trip to your favorite repair shop might do the trick. However, if it begins soaking to the circuitry, your beloved laptop could very well end up dead and go on to laptop heaven in the sky.

Trust the Experts

Fortunately, usually things can be repaired if you happen to know someone who works at a computer repair shop in your local area. Most places can let you know whether or not your device can be repaired or whether it is dead on arrival. However, as most things are in life, it certainly is much easier just to take good care of your devices and be aware of potential dangers in the first place.


Amy Rice writes about iPads and laptop repairs, when not writing she enjoys horse riding, walking and visiting the cinema.